Why I Couldn’t Return To Church


Every weekend (mostly on Sundays, although some prefer Saturdays), billions of followers of the Christian religion all around the world head over to a building to sing some songs, donate some money, and listen to a speech (and, in some cases, have a bite of bread and a sip of a grape-based beverage). While I used to attend these meetings quite regularly myself, I haven’t gone to one in many years now. I’ve been asked to return on occasion, but when I explain why I no longer do so it becomes apparent pretty quickly why I’m not able to any more.

When I stopped participating in these practices it wasn’t because I had stopped believing the Bible. When I finally walked away from Churchianity (as I like to call the Institutional Church and religious Christianity) it was because of just how unbiblical pretty much all of the evangelical churches I’d ever visited actually are. I’ve attended any number of traditional churches back in my religious days and I can’t think of one that had leaders who taught, or even seemed to know, what the Bible actually said. If you attend any conservative church services at all you’ll inevitably hear the preacher telling people they need to get back to the Bible, yet if the congregation listened to him and took his statement to heart they’d quickly stop attending that church. In fact, I don’t believe a single first-century believer who time-travelled to the present would recognize much of anything that was practiced or preached in a modern church.


Now, I’m not going to get into all of the scriptural arguments for why I believe the Bible teaches (and doesn’t teach) what I believe it does (and doesn’t), but I’ll explain some of them and give hints for others so that anyone who wants to figure it out for themselves can do so. Suffice it to say, people who do believe the Bible is God’s word would do well to A) pick up a concordance (and actually use it), and B) learn a bit about the original languages the scriptures were written in. Pro tip: a lot of the English translations are badly mistranslated in various places thanks to the preconceived doctrines of the translators which they (mis)translated into their versions. Thanks to these assumptions and biases that the translators had, modern Christians believe in all sorts of wacky ideas that put them at odds with not only what the scriptures actually say in their original languages, but also with morality, and even basic logic and reality. Remember, if you start down the wrong path to begin with, odds are you won’t end up in the right location at the end of it all.


A great example of this is a pre-existing belief in the doctrine of “everlasting punishment” (a doctrine that didn’t exist among the first believers in Christ, or among the Jewish followers of what Christians call the Old Testament) that caused many translators to horribly mistranslate Greek words like aiónios (αἰώνιος), which really refers to “a set period of time with a definite end” (literally, an eon or an age) into English words that mean “never ending.”


Aside from the fact that anybody who sat down to actually think about it would realize no sin or crime could ever warrant torture that lasted forever (and that physical torture even for a little while isn’t a valid punishment for anything to begin with), there isn’t anything in the original Hebrew or Greek that even implies that hell (which itself is another bad translation of various words that actually refer to different places from each other) lasts forever. These facts, combined with the fact that there are actually plenty of passages in scripture that tell us that everyone eventually will be saved (God is the saviour of all men, especially those who believe — not only those who believe — for example. If a teacher told a class that “everyone passed this grade — especially Lisa who is the only student to get an A” — you’d know that everyone else still got at least a D and passed) makes it pretty clear that the only reason to continue believing in a doctrine like everlasting torment in hell is because you want to believe it.

This horrible doctrine is also probably the biggest cause of religious evil. How so? First, it’s caused millennia of psychological torture for children. Somehow, religious parents have rationalized the idea that instilling the fear of this mythological torture chamber into their children is a good thing, but all it does is cause sleepless nights for millions of kids who are terrified they or their loved ones will suffer horrific agony for eternity with no chance of escape if the wrong decision or action is made (evangelical “end times” beliefs should also never be taught to young people for similar reasons).

Perhaps worse, though, is the fact that once this doctrine has been completely absorbed into the psyche it makes emotional empathy an extremely difficult thing to possess, causing religious people to think it’s okay to reject and even eject family members (sometimes from their own homes) who believe differently from them, and discriminate against people who don’t follow their religion or who might not think certain “sinful” actions are actually wrong.

I personally believe it also makes people more likely to be prone to violence. If God is going to torture people forever in the afterlife for even the smallest sin, what’s a little temporary violence in this life?


Speaking of some of those so-called sinful actions that aren’t actually condemned in the Bible, one of the biggest would be premarital sex. While there definitely are sexual acts that are frowned upon in the Bible, this isn’t one of them.


The primary reason that most religious Christians are so against premarital sex is one little word: fornication. Depending on your English translation, you’ll find fornication criticized as a very bad thing that one should flee, and if you look fornication up in an English dictionary you will indeed find that it means sexual intercourse between unmarried partners. The problem is, the word translated as “fornication” in the Bible is the Greek word porneia (πορνεία), which does not literally translate as “premarital sex” the way the most Christians believe it does. In fact, it’s generally agreed that the most accurate translation of porneia is “illicit sexual activity” (or “illegal sexual activity”).

If we take the term “illicit sexual activity” literally, it means sexual activity that breaks the law. Generally, here in the western world, premarital sex doesn’t break the law, and it certainly wasn’t against the law among the gentiles Paul wrote to when he told believers to avoid porneia. In fact, it wasn’t even technically against the Mosaic law, at least not for men. For women, it depended on how much of a bride price their fathers wanted in exchange for selling them to their future husbands. Remember, women were considered property back then among many cultures including among followers of the Jewish faith, and virgins went for a higher price (this is also why adultery was considered wrong, because it was a violation of a man’s property rights. Which means that a married man sleeping with an unmarried woman is not committing adultery, at least from a biblical perspective, and adultery is technically biblically impossible in countries where women are not legally considered to be men’s property; although that’s not to say it’s now a good idea to cheat on your partner regardless of what gender you are, since it’s definitely not).

The truth is, the word porneia actually had multiple meanings, depending on the context it was being used in. It is believed that it spoke of sexual idolatry in some cases, referring to sleeping with temple prostitutes in order to worship other gods. It could also be used in reference to sexual practices that actually were forbidden in the Old Testament, such as incest or bestiality. There also could have been a spiritual meaning to the word in some cases, having nothing to do with physical sex at all.

The one thing it never meant, however, is premarital sex, or at least there’s zero reason to believe it did, despite the fact that your parents and pastor would probably prefer you believed it did. Of course, they likely only think they want you to. If they understood just how many STIs and unwanted pregnancies this teaching is responsible for, they might change their minds. The idea that premarital sex is sinful causes many parents to actively make sure their kids don’t learn about condoms and birth control, but since an equal number of Christians have just as much premarital sex as non-Christians (the religious can’t fight nature and biology any more than the rest of the world can), only without any knowledge of how to minimize the potential risks, young people in conservative areas or with religious parents tend to end up with more diseases and unwanted pregnancies than those who don’t.


Pastors, however, don’t only tell us that certain things are forbidden. They also try to convince us that certain things are required. If you do attend church services and become a member of a particular assembly, you’ll likely sit through a number of sermons meant to make you feel guilty if you don’t tithe regularly, sermons that completely ignore the fact that the “tithe” was meant solely for followers of the Old Testament law. Gentiles (Christian or otherwise) are not required to follow the Mosaic law, and if they do decide to follow any of it, they’re then obligated to follow all of it, according to Paul (that means no more bacon or shrimp or clothes with mixed fabrics or washing your car on Saturday).


Of course, a true biblical tithe is actually in the form of food or livestock, and only goes to the Levite priests. Unless your pastors are Levites who perform animal sacrifices, they have no scriptural basis for demanding it. There’s absolutely nothing in the New Testament about the body of Christ having to give a tenth of their money to their religious leaders or organizations (and, as an aside, anyone who tells you to tithe more than 10% has no idea what they’re talking about since the word tithe literally means “a tenth.” It’s no more possible to tithe higher or lower than 10% than it is to give more or less than half of something and still call it 50%).

While tithing for believers might not be a biblical idea, what is recorded as having apparently happened in the New Testament is people giving financial gifts to those in financial need. They didn’t, however, just give money to religious leaders who simply wanted to live off church members’ hard-earned money or keep the power running in a church building.


Those church buildings and pastors themselves, by the way, are also a big reason I couldn’t return to church. Why? To begin with, because modern church services, and the buildings themselves, don’t have any biblical justification for existing in the first place. “The early church,” as the first believers are often referred to, never met in chapels or temples specifically meant for Christian worship. Instead, they met in each other’s homes. And a gathering wasn’t a few songs and then a sermon by a pastor. There might have been songs, and even a speech or two, but the early church gatherings were generally a meal (“The Lord’s Supper” was a part of a real supper; it wasn’t just a little snack) and discussions (actual conversations rather than just a monologue by one preacher). Church buildings didn’t exist until quite some time later, when Christianity became more formal and institutional rather than relational.

To be fair, it’s not the buildings that are the real problem; it’s the “organization” and lack of real, spontaneous fellowship. Yes, you will almost certainly hear the word “fellowship” in most traditional church meetings, but you also almost as certainly won’t experience any there, despite how much so many pastors seem to love the word. But you can technically meet in a home and still be an Institutional Church, or rent a hall and be a relational, Open Church (as this sort of gathering is often called). As nice as a home gathering is, it’s really the openness and fellowship that are the important factors.


In addition to this, however, the idea of a pastor or priest who rules over a church (a word which simply refers to the “group” or “assembly” of believers in an area, by the way; it never referred to a building) isn’t in the Bible either. Local churches were led by a group of (presumably unpaid) “elders,” not by one (paid) man. If you have one person leading a local gathering of believers, or overseeing a group of assemblies in a geographical area, I would suggest not having much of anything to do with them or their gatherings if you value your spiritual wellbeing.


There are so many other traditional religious ideas that aren’t in the Bible but that you’ve no doubt been taught are biblical. There’s no better example of this than the conservative “Christian” morality taught by Churchianity. For example, you have probably been taught that:

  • Lust is always wrong. When you discover what “lust” actually refers to in the Bible you’ll realize that it is often encouraged, and that it’s also time to reconsider your thoughts on pornography as well.
  • Abortion is condemned by the Bible as murder. Regardless of your feelings on abortion, it isn’t ever mentioned in the Bible; and since murder is a legal term, it can’t legitimately be defined as murder in places where it’s legal.
  • Homosexuality is forbidden. This is a topic I admittedly haven’t studied in as much depth as the others I’m discussing, but I can say that I’m not aware of anything in the Bible that forbids women from being sexual with each other, nor where it says anything at all about romantic feelings between people of the same sex in general, and many scholars will also argue that it’s questionable as to whether it actually forbids anal sex between men when the original languages and context are considered as well, particularly for those living in the current dispensation (and, even if it does, it doesn’t seem to say anything about any other form of sexuality or love between consenting males). Either way, the manner in which followers of Churchianity treat LGBT people (especially LGBT youth) is absolutely deplorable, and until they remove the logs from their own eyes about the way they do treat people based on who they happen to be attracted to, they have no business saying a word about this topic. I should also say that digging into what the Bible says “the sin of Sodom” really is would be extremely helpful too (it’s not what most people think it is).
  • Swearing is shameful. The Bible has plenty of profanity in it in its original languages, and “taking the Lord’s name in vain” isn’t what most people assume it is.
  • Drinking alcohol is forbidden. It’s definitely not pro-drunkenness, but the Bible actually recommends the consumption of alcohol in some places.
  • Dancing, movie theatres, certain music, card games, and various other “worldly” activities should be avoided. Some Institutional Churches are worse than others, and most aren’t this extreme, but these examples, along with the various so-called “sins” I’ve already covered, are a great example of how the religious like to add rules to the Bible that were never mentioned in there to begin with, or twist teachings that are in there to try to make them say things they never actually meant. Yes, avoid the appearance of evil, but the things that most religious Christians mistakenly think appear evil aren’t even close to actually appearing (or being) evil at all to anyone who hasn’t been brainwashed by Churchianity, while their attitude and actions towards people not following their rules definitely is quite evil.


All of that aside, though, worrying about morality is a huge red herring. The thing followers of the Christian religion forget is that all of the “thou shalts” and “thou shalt nots,” among everything else they seem to think they need to practice and avoid in order to please God, causes them to completely miss the point of Paul’s teachings to begin with (Paul’s teachings are the ones the body of Christ is supposed to be concerned with; Jesus’ teachings, and the teachings of the other apostles, are a good source of context for Paul’s teachings, but their doctrines were pretty much meant only for Israelites and Jewish proselytes of Jesus’ and the apostles’ time). Starting with a flawed presupposition about doctrines like sin and grace will cause you to think that you’re supposed to be concerned with rules when being a member of the body of Christ is actually about something else altogether.

Bottom line, the body of Christ doesn’t actively try to avoid sinning, since they’ve repented of their religious ways and are justified by faith. And those who haven’t yet been saved don’t need to try to avoid sinning either, since it wouldn’t make a difference. Trying to actively avoid sinning rather than trusting the Spirit to guide your actions, not to mention trying to force others to avoid sinning, is a good sign that you aren’t a member of the body of Christ (I should say that “the bride of the lamb” does – or, perhaps I should say, did – need to try to avoid sinning, but they’re a different group from the body of Christ and the rules they had to follow don’t apply to you and me).

Basically, never trust a religious teacher who tells you, “touch not; taste not; handle not.” And if you hear someone espousing “traditional family values,” don’t walk; run! It means that they are very likely a wolf in sheep’s clothing, trying to lure you into their religious trap. At the very least, they are extremely confused and haven’t believed the Gospel as Paul taught it, and likely have nothing useful to teach you (at least from a spiritual perspective). As Paul would say about them, let them be anathema.

Remember also that, while not all things are a good idea, if you’re a member of the body of Christ then all things are permitted.

If you really insist on concerning yourself with morality in this world, however, simply love your neighbour as yourself, and do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Just don’t do it to try to get on God’s good side. Rather, do it because it makes the world a nicer place for everyone to live in.


But a flawed understanding of morality isn’t the only problem. There are so many doctrines that nearly every religious church leader would insist one agree with them on to be a part of their group, when they themselves are quite confused about said topics. Topics such as:

  • What the biblical definition of sin actually is.
  • The origin of evil according to the Bible, not to mention what evil actually is. Hint: evil and sin are two completely different concepts.
  • Free will. Aside from being an entirely unscriptural concept, it’s also a complete impossibility from a purely logical and scientific perspective. That said, I don’t think most people know what “free will” actually means. I won’t get into it here, but it doesn’t mean the ability to choose.
  • Baptism for believers. Most people assume that after you believe the gospel you should be baptized, but I personally believe that baptism was only meant for Israelites in Bible times who accepted that Jesus is the Christ (Messiah). Yes, Paul did baptize a few people early on in his ministry to the Gentiles, but he stopped pretty quickly.
  • What repentance, salvation, and grace are really supposed to be. I can count the number of Christians I know on one hand who could accurately explain these things, but since salvation is also one of the most important parts of the Bible I’ll go into a little more detail in the next section.


The majority of people who think they are members of the body of Christ are actually not, at least if Paul is to be believed. To clarify, I should point out that there are different stages to salvation. Just as in Adam all die, so also in Christ shall all be made alive, but each in their own order. So, while every human who is affected by the curse will also be equally (actually, more so) affected by the cross, it doesn’t happen to everyone at the same time.


According to Paul, only those few people God has elected (chosen) for eonian life (a transliteration that is a far superior rendering of what most Bible translations call “eternal life”) will be given faith and be saved (noologically speaking, as I like to call it; everyone has already been saved by Christ, ontologically speaking) in this lifetime; they will get to experience the eons or ages to come. However, at the consummation of the eons, everybody will be raised from the dead and be given immortal bodies so they can live forever.

This faith is not something you can just decide to have, however. You can’t choose to believe the Gospel without God first giving you the faith to believe (faith is not of yourself; it’s by grace, rather — a gift of God to certain chosen people who are predestined for eonian life for a specific purpose).

I’ve hinted at it before in this article, but I should probably explain that there are two gospels in the New Testament, the Gospel of the Circumcision (also sometimes known as the Gospel of the Kingdom) and the Gospel of the Uncircumcision (also sometimes known as the Gospel of Grace). Jesus and His disciples taught the first one specifically to the Israelites (and those who believed it were the bride of the lamb), while Paul was singled out to teach the second one, and it’s the second one that is for you and me in this “dispensation of grace” (believers of this gospel are the body of Christ). There is a third “gospel” mentioned by Paul as well, but it’s not actually a gospel at all. Rather, it’s an attempt to combine the two other gospels together, mixing law with grace, and is the “gospel” that religious Christians in the Institutional Church follow due to not rightly dividing the word of truth because they don’t realize that not every book of the New Testament was written to them. I’ll also say that the lack of understanding regarding the difference between these two gospels is a major cause of the disagreements one finds between the many Christian denominations, whereas understanding it resolves a lot of the apparent contradictions that seem to be prevalent in the New Testament.


I could go on and on about the multitude of ideas that Christians are ridiculously confused about thanks to the flawed assumptions they begin with, and a lack of desire to actually take the time to pick up a concordance and dig into what the Bible really says, taking their pastor’s word for it instead, but that should be more than enough to explain why I couldn’t ever return to a modern evangelical congregation. Not that I’d be welcome back at one anyway, if I ever wanted to return. At least not if I refused to keep my mouth shut about the various things actually taught in the Bible. So perhaps the real question shouldn’t be why I couldn’t return to church, but why you yourself might still consider having anything to do with such an unbiblical, not to mention harmful, institution.


Now, I suspect that most of what I’ve written here is brand new for many of you, and that you’re not sure what to believe (or think it’s so foreign to what you were taught growing up that you’ll just reject it out of hand). However, for those chosen few of you who do dig deeper and then realize that you need to reject Churchianity and organized religion, you’ll be left wondering what you should do instead. Well, first of all, it means that you get to sleep in on Sunday mornings if you want to. Beyond that, however, if you can find an Open Church that actually teaches what the Bible says, it might be a good group to check out. Otherwise, just keep studying the Bible (you’re better off not attending any church than you are attending an Institutional Church. Yes, it’s important to not forsake the gathering of likeminded believers, but you won’t find many likeminded believers in the traditional denominations, at least not if you happen to agree with what I’ve mentioned in this article).

Speaking of studying the Bible, you might have noticed that I didn’t include a single scriptural verse reference in this article (although I did include some links to some of my earlier articles that are relevant). That’s because I want you to take the time to really dig into why you think I might believe what I do about the Bible. So, those of you who are inspired to do so, pull out your concordances and Koine Greek dictionaries, fire up your search engines, and start studying to “shew thyself approved.” I will, however, also suggest checking out Martin Zender’s website, since he is probably the closest to understanding the Bible of anybody I’ve ever met.